The Indian Groom. We know he gets overlooked. Nobody gives a crap about you sometimes because it’s all about your princess, the Indian bride (the only exception is if we’re talking about your baraat vehicle). Look, I was an Indian bride – and even today, I usually say…at “my wedding” we did blah and blah, and then I stand corrected by my husband that it was his wedding too… Oops! 🙂 So this one is for you, grooms. And please don’t say, eh, I’ll figure it out (even though you probably will). Because you don’t want to that groom who didn’t iron his sherwani and has two long creases on both sides all the way down from shoulder to shin. Another oops! This is what every Indian Groom needs to do before the wedding:
Get your Clothes Squared Away
You can procrastinate in everyday life, but this is one place you don’t want to procrastinate, however much you feel like it. Indian clothes require more coordination than many other parts of the wedding. The first challenge is actually finding your wedding clothes. This could mean one or multiple suits – perhaps for a garba or sangeet night on top of the ceremony and reception (if you’re wearing an Indian suit to that). Whether you’re going to India or going to Edison, New Jersey, take care of the clothes sooner rather than later. The bride probably wants to match you, so you’ll have to coordinate that (or let your bride take care of that). Oh, and whatever estimate they give you at the shop in terms of when your custom clothes will be ready, add on at least 3-4 weeks to whatever they tell you (even in the US). If you have to tell them your wedding is one month sooner than it actually is, then do it! (Yes, we did that). Then when your clothes are ready “on time”, try them on in the store before you leave so you know the tailoring is all good (not everyone does this!). Don’t leave until it’s all good. If it’s not all good, let them re-tailor it. And once you’ve that done, you’ve accomplished one of the most challenging parts of wedding planning for you, Indian groom.
Now it’s time for the non-Indian clothes. If you’re not wearing any sort of Amitabh Bachchan suit thing, will you be wearing a tux or a suit to the wedding reception? If it’s a suit rental, go do it. If it’s shopping for suits, go do it. Allow some time for suit and tux shopping, especially if you’re getting something custom made or even if it’s just getting tailored. Even Non-Indian stores need some lead time to make custom clothes.
Not sure about a suit vs. a tux? Learn the true difference first.
And as much as you don’t want to, TRY ON EACH OF YOUR OUTFITS (with the shoes and the accessories, undershirt, everything down to the turban/hat). Walk around, make sure nothing is itchy or weird. Stand, sit down, and then stand up and sit down again, multiple times. Just do it. If your shoes don’t feel right, break them in before the wedding weekend or break them in anyway even if they feel fine. If something feels itchy inside your suit, have it checked out by a tailor because if something feels off, it’s going to feel off for the entire wedding ceremony and it’ll be annoying.
Accessories can make the outfit
For your suit or tux, matching accessories to the bride can be a nice touch. But, think twice if she’s wearing colors that might no jive with your clothes. If she’s wearing coral, go with a color you like, and then find accessories with a little hint of coral. The tie itself doesn’t need to be solid coral in order to match. Use accessories to play up your suit – a suit pocket square, suspenders, bow tie, fun socks – the list goes on. Make it fun – this is your big weekend too!
Get a Mani / Pedi (yes, that’s not a typo)
You might be a dude who doesn’t mind the occasional mani-pedi (no shame in that!) or you might be a mani-pedi virgin. Regardless, get a mani-pedi. And I say this because you WILL be barefoot at some point during the wedding weekend. Pre-ceremony – if you have a Raas Garba, you’ll likely be barefoot while doing Garba or Raas. And you’ll be barefoot during the wedding ceremony [if you’re having a Hindu ceremony]. You have to take your shoes off right before you step into the mandap (when the bride’s side is attempting to steal your shoes). There will be photos taken of your feet during the events, especially if you’ve opted for the documentary style photographer. Better you’re all manicured and pedicured rather than showing some (potentially) nasty dry feet. Am I right?! And while you’re at it, why not make it fun? If your bride isn’t getting her nails done with her bridesmaids, go with her! If it’s your first time to the nail salon, it’ll be less intimidating and it’ll be good pre-wedding bonding time before all hell breaks loose and family and friends start arriving. If your bride already has her plan with her girls, take your brother, or your best man, or any groomsmen (or anyone else for that matter). Basically, no excuses not to go. And after that, you’ll understand my favorite Anjelah Johnson standup clip.
Get on the Same Page with your Family and your Point Person
The last few weeks before a wedding are always super hectic. That’s why it’s really beneficial to regroup with your immediate family and the person you’ve designated as your “point person” to ensure everyone’s on the same page with timelines, events, etc. Sit down with them for a few minutes to explain any additional details that need to be discussed so you don’t need to worry about them during any of the events. And to clarify, this is the groom’s side point person (since there’s also a bride’s side point person). It’ll get your closer to being a guest at your own wedding (remind the bride of that too).
Write a Letter to your Bride before the Wedding Day Unravels
With everything going on, it’s easy to forget your bride. Ok, it’s not easy to forget about the bride because everyone’s looking at her the whole time, but you know what I mean. It will be easy for YOU to forget about your bride’s needs (as in, making her feel special). Do something special. A simple letter or card delivered while she’s getting ready for the day would be perfect. The simple gesture will make her day that much more special – trust me! It’s the little things that count during your wedding that matter. And you’ll get some good brownie points for that.
Get your Bride a Wedding Gift
Yes, the wedding itself is a gift, and I just mentioned writing a letter. But you need to get your bride a gift. It doesn’t need to be expensive, but it should be a small, thoughtful one. Most grooms have no idea that they are expected to do this because half of the time nobody tells them. Do it, and then come back and let me know how it goes. Trust me when I say that your bride will appreciate it. It might seem like a small thing in a big day of your life, but it will mean more than you think. You’ll get more brownie points for this one too!
Prepare for a Quick Thank You Speech for your Reception
We all have intentions of saying thank you to each and every guest, and I don’t have to tell you that some couples don’t actually do it. It’s embarrassing (or at least I’m embarrassed for them), but it happens. You might have intentions of thanking your guests, but it’s better to have something in mind instead of making something up on the fly. It doesn’t have to be a formal speech – a short few sentences goes a long way in showing your appreciation to everyone from your family and friends to anyone who’s traveled from afar. And don’t forget to thank the bride! An added bonus is if you’re doing some kind of receiving line – that’s another good place to say thanks. Or, you can go around to tables during the reception. It’s all personal preference, but don’t forget to take the lead on this one.
Don’t Forget about Honeymoon Details
The honeymoon is the best gift after the wedding. Duh! With all of the other details, the honeymoon details can often get overlooked. You might have the flights and hotel already booked, but what about everything else? Square away any last-minute details without procrastinating. Get it out of the way. Better to get it organized now rather than later. The bride will be with you after the wedding, so if you’re planning any kind of surprise, now is the time to plan it – Don’t procrastinate! If you’re looking for honeymoon ideas or gift ideas, check out our resources section.
Get your Wedding Clothes Pressed!
As an Indian Groom, you want to look Tip Top! I’m not a fan of that expression but it gets the point across. There are so many things going on those last few days before the wedding – this is one that might get missed. Imagine you’re a guest at a wedding (a five-star venue) and everything’s perfect for the wedding and then the groom shows up in an unironed sherwani suit. I’ve seen it happen first hand at a wedding and it was unfortunate because his sherwani was really nice! So, get your stuff ironed. End of story.
And lastly, not a shocker here, but every groom should remember to enjoy every single moment of your fabulous wedding weekend [and please please please remind your bride to do the same]!
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