Indian wedding planning (or any wedding planning) comes with its unique challenges – those that are different than just “normal” wedding planning. If you’re planning your own wedding, it’s important to know what to expect before getting into it. Here are a few things you didn’t know about Indian wedding planning:
1) Everyone will have an opinion, including your Mom’s Auntie friend’s neighbor
Yes, this isn’t something new, I’m sure you’ve gotten “great” ideas from everyone like your co-worker who knows nothing about wedding planning, to your mother-in-law. The best thing to do is to say “yeah, sounds interesting” whether or not you would ever be interested in it. It acknowledges the suggestion but doesn’t commit you to going that route.
2) The groom might not care about things you want him to care about
It’s true. You’ll assume that the groom cares about certain things when in reality, he might not care at all. On the contrary, though, he might care about things you had no idea he would care about. Nonetheless, be aware of this throughout your wedding planning and communicate with each other! Brides tend to take over, so stop and ask your groom what he thinks.
3) You will cry at some point because of stress
This is inevitable. You will cry at some point during the wedding planning process. Let’s face it, you’re under pressure and there is a strong chance that someone won’t agree with the decisions you and your fiancée are making. Or, it could be that your relative might impose and influence your parents to ask you to change something..it’ll be something or another.
4) One of your vendors might mess up something / Something else might mess up during the big weekend
No matter how detailed oriented you are, someone will miss something during one of your wedding events. Whether it’s your photographer who forgets to take photos of your wedding shoes or the DJ that says someone’s name wrong. If you come to terms with this fact and set expectations accordingly, then this shouldn’t be a problem. The reality is that it’ll likely be something that nobody even knows is missing.
5) It might be hard to DIY most things you see on Pinterest (use for inspiration and ideas only)
I love Pinterest. And there are so many amazing ideas, photos, and DIY projects on there for inspiration. When it comes to weddings, be realistic with Pinterest. You might come across something that is “DIY” but it might actually be really complicated, i.e you’ll see it listed on Buzzfeed as a “DIY fail”. But sometimes you can actually make your own DIY from an idea on Pinterest. For example, I was looking for a large tiered gift card box. I kept seeing custom made boxes (the color and ribbon of your choice) for $150+. Seriously? $150 for a wedding card box? I used the box I saw on Etsy as my inspiration and got a ready made frame for the card box (like ready made paper mache), and then spent an hour spray painting it gold, and then glue-gunning rhinestone ribbon on each tier. It turned out great, and I spent $30 on it, all while watching a few episodes of Homeland. So, the point is to get inspiration and ideas, and then execute. Don’t turn back. The challenging part about Pinterest is that it can really confuse you and it can make you doubt your decisions because you keep getting more ideas. Check out our post on picking your elements and sticking to them.
6) You need to be extremely detail-oriented and organized (aka a Project Manager)
You see lots of lots of people planning their own weddings. Some weddings are organized better than others. That shouldn’t be a shock to you. Some people may have help (aka Wedding Planner) while others might be trying to plan remotely from another location. Regardless, if you’re planning your own wedding, you need to be extremely detail-oriented and organized. The key to project managing is sometimes delegating tasks, especially smaller tasks like finding a shuttle service to take guests between the hotel and the wedding venue. You manage the task, but you get help with finding all of the information to make the decision.
If you don’t have excel or word, try Google Drive instead. It’s easy to make spreadsheets with this handy tool, and you can easily create a shareable spreadsheet to share with your wedding planning crew (i.e. your fiancee, and anyone who’s close to the wedding planning process).
Bonus Tip: After each vendor meeting, send the vendor a “post-meeting recap,” just as some of us would after a work meeting. I found that my vendors took their own notes, but they didn’t send anything back to me via email after the meeting, so this was my way of ensuring that they were on the same page with me. Some might argue that it’s not the bride’s job to do that, but in my case, I did it anyway because I didn’t want to assume incorrect information. So, in that post-meeting recap email, include what you discussed and more importantly, action items, and who is responsible for those action items. You can do this with any and all of your vendors. The added 5 minutes after each meeting will go a long way!
7) You need at least one person you can rely on – who will take on major responsibilities – i.e. the main contact person – during the wedding weekend.
Whoever you choose to be this person, make sure that they know what the responsibilities entail. Write down the types of tasks they’ll be responsible for (so there are no surprises) and you’re on the same page. You can also have this person tell immediate family and friends that they will the main point person, so they shouldn’t ask the bride or groom about anything planning related during the wedding weekend. She’s a guest too!
8) People will forget things
Hey, people aren’t perfect. Even if you tell them to do something, they might forget – especially in the commotion of the wedding. Don’t fret. Just know this going into wedding planning. Sh*t happens and we move on!
9) Petty (or not so petty) arguments will come up between you and your fiancée
Wedding planning is an exciting time, it can also be a stressful time if you don’t know how to handle certain situations. The chances are that you will get into an argument about something, whether it is your fiancée that feels strongly for something, or if it’s mother he is conveying the message for. Luckily, most of these arguments should be solvable – or at least negotiable. It’s all about picking your battles. If you don’t care that much about one aspect of your wedding (like something minor), then there’s no reason to spend time arguing about it.
10) Sometimes having less time to plan is better
If you just got engaged, and you plan your wedding for 15 months from now, you’ll inevitably be planning your wedding for those 15 months. If the time between your engagement and wedding is 8 months, then you’ll be planning that whole time. If you’re ok with the longer lead-time, then great, but know that you can’t plan your wedding early, and then take a few months “off” until the big day. It just won’t happen.
11) Your guests should come first
Although this is YOUR big day and/or weekend, it’s important that your guests are comfortable and well fed (especially Indian guests). Seriously, if you think about people talking about how they enjoyed (or didn’t enjoy) about a wedding, it usually has something to do with either food, drinks, or comfort level (too hot, too cold, didn’t get food until late, etc).
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